When I first looked it up, it was listed several places as “gemnophobia”, so the first most common reaction I would get when I told people I had gemnophobia was, “Oh, so do you Lysol your entire house?”

Ah… So I guess I should explain… “Not germophobia, gemnophobia. I have no trouble with germs. I actually think germs help you stay healthy.”

“What is gemnophobia?”

Well, it’s not actually gemnophobia. I have kosmimaphobia. A fear so weird and unheard of that it was possible to actually get an inaccurate result for what it was called on Google.

kosmimaphobia: n. a fear of jewelry

It’s an irrational fear of jewelry. Mostly metal, usually involving gems, but they have to be on metal. At least, this is how it manifests itself for me. My biggest issue with this fear is earrings. Do not lose your earrings around me, or I will go into panic mode and freeze up.

I avoided the tip cup at an old job of mine for a good twenty minutes after a customer accidentally dropped one of her earrings into the tip jar along with the change she was tipping us with. (To which, of course, I had to mentally ask: Who keeps spare earrings in their change purse?)

And yes, I realize it’s weird. Most people don’t even realize that I have an issue with it. I’ve had this fear since I was seven years old, so I’ve gotten pretty good at hiding my reactions to things. Certain things I’ve grown accustom to. Shaking hands with a ring wearer, for example, is a social necessity. As a result, I can deal with it with very little visible issue (while cringing on the inside).

But I will never ever get over lost earrings – ever. They’re far too much like spiders in my mind. Worse, in fact. I can deal with spiders better than I can deal with lost earrings.

I also, have spent years (15 years to be exact at this point) trying to figure out just how I’m going to deal with rings when I get married. I have only recently come to the conclusion that I just won’t. There will be no ring text. There will be no rings. Why force myself to adjust to something that could freak me out at the wrong moment?

When I was in Cinderella as one of the evil step-sisters, there was an entire scene we had to do with jewelry. The necklaces picked out were chosen with my fear in mind, and we rehearsed with them constantly in order to try and get me over the fear that could manifest itself unexpectedly on stage. It wasn’t enough.

During the initial scene, I got through it just fine. But the minute we had to re-don the necklaces for the ball scene, I found myself throwing a fit, completely unable to bring myself within two feet of the dreaded object. The girl playing the other step-sister spent fifteen minutes arguing with me trying to make me put it on until the dancer playing the Prince stepped in on my behalf – albeit a bit bewildered about the whole situation since he was brought in just for the show and didn’t normally dance with us.

It’s this particular story that, thinking back on it now, is the reason I very recently came to the decision that I just was never going to do wedding rings. Period. That and the fact that it was pointed out to me a few months ago by a group of friends that no man on earth will ever complain about not ever having to buy an engagement ring. If I could find myself unable to put on a necklace under the high adrenaline circumstances that are brought about by being on stage, what would happen in a real emergency if I was already wearing jewelry? It’s not something I ever want to contemplate.

Besides, weddings are about more important things than exchanging rings, and I think that’s probably the more important part.

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